I’m headed back to the States and scenic College Park today, which means I get a 29-hour day while y’all are stuck with the regular 24. Suckas. Enjoy the tabs.

Thomas Jefferson: child rapist.
Lisa Duggan cares more about health care for all than gay marriage, and she’s queer! (h/t Renee).
–  Salon lists the top post-college summer movies.
McSweeney’s gets an interview with The Man. Yeah, that one.
– And finally, aw hell no.