So I just downloaded the WordPress app for my phone (which appears to be pretty impressive) as part of an attempt to live-blog the midnight showing of Harry Potter. Yeah, okay, super lame, but it will keep me awake and engaged and spoil the good parts for my family who’s three hours behind in California. Tune in for updates.

Update 15: the source text has too much content to make a film whose temporality isn’t stretched to its breaking point, still not a bad job.

Update 14: Oh shit, zombie attack!

Update 13: Harry and Ginny kiss is weak for six years of represssed sexuality, which was apparently stored up for this movie. Harry is high on liquid luck.

Update 12: I want game like Ron Weasley.

Update 11: Malfoy’s secret: a big hidden closet. I’m just sayin’… Joe adds: Luna Lovegood = stoner.

Update 10: Ron Weasley: doper. I demand a full investigation. Whatever gets the quidditch groupies…

Update 9: So many possible queer readings. They had to add a lot of sexual tension to the source text and it spills everywhere.

Update 8: So far Luna Lovegood is stealing she show. All Hogwarts profs are white and most of the students are too, inequality in the community or fewer “out” wizards of color?

Update 7: Harry is shorter than Ginny and Hermione by a fair bit. His haircut is bad enough as to be frame-breaking. Same with Malfoy’s suits.

Update 6: They didn’t skimp on the effects budget, it looks great. And Joe adds that Dumbledore cock-blocks Harry, quite uncool.

Update 5: Previews start. Where the Wild Things Are still looks awesome. Sherlock Holmes looks awful. Can Jay-Z declare computer animation dead next? Although Despicable Me might be genius. G.I. Joe looks a Darpa super soldier wet dream. John Cusack in a Mayan prophecy disaster movie? Deal. Remake of Fame? No deal.

Update 4: Costume contest, happiest day of the year for theater drone who gets to anounce to cheers of teenage girls. Housemate David is the favorite and makes the final round. Crowd is with David but he finishes second. A travesty.

Update 3: Cloudy W/ A Chance of Meatballs movie?! Animated? With Andy Samberg?!

Update 2: Theater is packed, we split up for decent seats. Apparently this is where they keep the high schoolers. Or middle schoolers, I’m bad at distinguishing these days.

Update 1: Arrive at theater, no visible signs of Pottermania, aside from housemate David in garrish robe.