“Because it seems that no student can be so bad, we try to suspend judgment when we encounter a bad student—at least until the first paper is handed in. Although we believe that the student is, in fact, terrible, what if that first paper proves that he is simply not good at speaking up in class? What if it shows that she has a rich fund of ideas that she cannot articulate verbally but can pour forth onto paper?

And then the paper doesn’t show any of that. Ah, sweet reassurance. The world remains on its axis. In larger life, this feeling is called, “I told you so,” and it is always unwise to give it voice. In the privacy of your office, though, it gives immense pedagogical pleasure to know that your instincts were right.”
-”The Pleasure of Seeing the Deserving Fail” The Chronicle of Higher Education

When asked if charter schools might help solve some of the problems faced by public education, Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller told reporters the data indicated any difference they made would amount to jack shit.

‘Some charter schools perform better than their public counterparts, some don’t,’ Miller said. ‘You can’t change the fact that any school, no matter how it’s funded, is ultimately just another type of building to contain these goddamn monsters for seven hours a day.’

Miller added that more involvement from home was not the answer, either, as the little shits tend to have shithead parents who just make everything worse. The only findings from the study that provide a glimmer of hope, he said, are student absenteeism and dropout rates, which continue to increase.”
- “Department of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth ItThe Onion